Election Insanity
by Red Witch
Summary: It's election time on Earth and the Galaxy Rangers are assigned to protect a senator from thugs. Too bad they can't protect him from his big mouth.


**The Votes are in! I do not own any Galaxy Rangers characters! Again more madness that came out of my tiny mind. I watched the Space Moby episode again and this came out of my insane head. **

**Election Insanity**

"Once again folks it's the scariest time of year," Doc remarked to the other Galaxy Rangers as he read the paper in the recreation room. "Election time."

"This must be really exciting for you Goose," Niko said. "Since this year you'll be allowed to vote for the first time."

"Yeah but why couldn't Wheiner be the one running for re-election?" Shane grumbled. "I would have loved my first vote to be **against** him!"

"Earth Senators have different rotations in different hemisphere districts," Doc explained. "That way not everyone is running for office at the same time and some people are able to focus on governing instead of campaigning."

"But Wheiner is in the North American District," Shane blinked.

"Yeah but he's in the Eastern District," Zach pointed out. "The election is held in the Western District this year."

"And since BETA Mountain is in Arizona we get to vote in this election," Doc explained. "Because as Galaxy Rangers we have to claim BETA Mountain as our place of residence."

"So who are you voting for?" Zach asked. "I'm kind of undecided myself. It's between Senator Darren Drake and the challenger Lawrence Henderson."

"I'm definitely **not** voting for Drake," Shane growled. "He was one of the Senators overseeing the Supertrooper Project. It may not be much but my vote against him is a stand."

"Every vote is important Goose," Zach said. "But I see your point. "So you're voting for Henderson?"

"I guess but I don't know…" Shane shook his head. "There's something about that guy I just don't trust. But there's not really much of a choice."

"Well there is a third candidate but I don't think he has much of a chance," Zach told him. "Remember Zoot Martin?"

"From Space Peace?" Niko blinked. "He's running for Senator?"

"Yeah he said he finally got tired of all the 'government fat cats and corporate crazy people' running the show," Zach used his fingers as quotation marks to make a point. "He formed the Space Peace Party in order to promote peace, harmony and 'really good vibes' among Earth and it's neighbors."

"Good luck," Doc snickered. "That guy has as much chance to win as Kilbane does of becoming Miss America."

"What's a Miss America?" Shane asked.

"I'll explain that another day," Doc said. "Looks like Walsh has a mission for us."

"You're right, Ranger Hartford," Walsh walked in with a brown haired man in his late fifties wearing an expensive suit. "This is Senator Darren Drake. Senator Drake, these are the Galaxy Rangers."

"I know who **you** are," Drake shot a disdainful look at Shane before putting on a fake smile for the others. Fortunately it didn't go unnoticed by Shane's friends. "Walsh assures me that you can all help me with my little problem."

"Someone is trying to kill the senator," Walsh explained.

"Not someone," Drake snarled. "Henderson. I tell you he's trying to take my seat and he will do it by any means necessary."

"You're accusing your opponent?" Niko was stunned. "Do you have any proof?"

"Aside from several voters in my district being hassled by thugs claiming that if they don't vote for Henderson they're going to get their kneecaps busted?" Drake snapped. "Aside from my election headquarters getting vandalized last night and the words 'Drop out of the race or die' spray painted all over the walls? And my car was blown up this morning? Not much."

"Still…It could be someone else," Doc said.

"He's the only person who could be responsible," Drake said. "Who else could it be? That hippie Zoot Martin? Fools like him barely have enough intelligence and direction to **vote** much less plan complicated political maneuvers! And he can't even whack a blade of **grass** much less another human being. Actually his kind would rather smoke grass than do anything else. No it has to be Henderson, he's the only one with anything to gain by attacking me, since no one in their right mind would vote for Martin."

"There have been reports of such attacks and threats," Walsh showed them some pictures. "A security camera caught these images at Drake's headquarters."

"I recognize those guys," Shane noticed. "They work for Jackie Subtract."

"What's he doing getting involved with this?" Doc asked. "I thought he mostly stuck to Mars as his main territory?"

"He does," Drake said. "But I have some influence over there especially when it comes to licensing casinos. Thanks to the original charter of Mars colonization, Mars is technically a colony not a separate planet so it doesn't have an independent government. An Earth Senate committee has to approve where and if we build any casinos on Mars."

"And let me guess, you are the swing vote on this committee and the only one who is being reelected at the time?" Doc asked.

"Got it in one," Drake said. "I denied Subtract his bid for a casino so he's obviously backing Henderson who will!"

"But why us?" Doc asked. "Why not give this job to the police?"

"Because I want the best on this job when my life and career are on the line," Drake narrowed his eyes. He glared at Shane. "Besides, Walsh owes me a little favor."

Shane kept quiet but he knew what the senator was saying. This was one of the senators that could have sent him to the Cryocrypt when Wolf Den first collapsed. Walsh had to trade favors with him in order to save his life. The other Rangers got it too without a word said.

"All right the Galaxy Rangers will investigate this matter," Zach held up his hands. "We'll get to the bottom of this."

"The candidates are having a debate later this evening," Walsh said. "I want you all there to keep an eye out."

"I can also do a background check on Henderson," Doc said. "Trust me Senator, if he's had so much as an unpaid parking ticket, I'll know about it."

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"And to think I complained about being a glorified baby sitter for pieces of art," Shane grumbled as he folded his arms. "At least art doesn't **talk!**"

"I know you have issues with Drake, Gooseman but we have a job to do," Zach said as the Galaxy Rangers watched the candidates debate in the great hall.

"Believe me I'm not going to give that man any cause for complaint if I can help it," Shane gave him a look. "What I'm complaining about is **why** we have to listen to these guys speak!"

"My opponent has been doing nothing but slinging mud against me since day one!" A brown haired man with a dapper suit and a dazzling smile spoke on the podium. "That's because he knows that if he stands on his record he will fall flat on his face!"

"Stuff it Henderson!" Drake yelled. "Let's look at your record! Your **police **record!"

"I don't have a police record!" Henderson snapped.

"That's because you **bribed** the officials into covering up your dirty deeds!" Drake shouted.

"If anyone knows about **bribes** it's you Drake!" Henderson yelled. "You paid newspapers to print about me cheating on my wife when I don't even **have **a wife!"

"In other words you are a womanizer as well as a fraud!" Drake added.

"I am **not** a fraud!" Henderson snarled.

"Ladies and gentlemen if it talks like a fraud and looks like a fraud, guess what? It's a fraud!" Drake snapped. "Everyone knows that you are in cahoots with mob boss Jackie Subtract and have had his thugs terrorize people to vote for you! What's next Henderson? You gonna turn our planet over to the Queen of the Crown?"

"WHAT?" Henderson screamed. "This is outrageous!"

"I'll say one thing for Drake, nobody can sling mud like him," Doc remarked.

"Think about it people! If this man, this fraud is so willing to turn against decent honest people over to the mob in order to make a few dollars," Drake was on a roll. "He will turn against you in any situation in order to save his own skin! All I'm saying is that we can't count on this man especially against an alien invasion!"

Several people were actually murmuring about this. "Oh for crying out loud!" Henderson shouted. "You morons aren't actually **buying **these lies are you?"

"HE ADMITS HIS CONTEMPT OF THE PEOPLE!" Drake yelled.

"I SAID NO SUCH THING YOU LYING…" Henderson yelled.

"HOLD IT!" A twenty five year old man with black hair cut in a bowl style haircut, a goofy face and a yellow outfit cried out. "Can we like actually talk about **something else** than the fact that Henderson is a stuck up jerk?"

"I am not stuck up you stupid space hippie!" Henderson yelled.

"Contempt…" Drake whistled.

"Shut up Drake!" Henderson was losing his patience. "At least Zoot Martin over here is trying to talk about the issues."

"You dudes don't even **try** to talk about the issues," Zoot shouted. "This debate isn't supposed to be about personal attacks! That's one thing my candidacy is about!"

"Yeah let's all listen to the fruit loop babble on about how he's gonna install some rock band as Earth's official music group," Henderson grumbled.

"Okay first of all Aerosmith Generation Next is not **just** some rock band," Zoot held up his hand. "They are the direct descendants of the originals! And they've recorded more number one singles in a year than most bands do in a lifetime! They are the perfect musical ambassadors of rock and good will!"

"This is why I don't even need to **bother** with personal attacks on you Martin," Drake snapped. "You're doing a **great **job on your own!"

"And I will also fight for voting rights for other sentient species on this planet," Zoot called out. "Dolphins and whales have rights too! This is their planet just as much as ours! Why shouldn't they have a say in how it's governed?"

"Makes sense to me," Shane shrugged.

"Oh brother…" Doc groaned.

Suddenly Shane noticed something. "Hold on…" He pointed to five suspicious men in the back.

"I see 'em…" Zach growled as the Rangers started to move.

However as soon as they did the gunmen opened fire with lasers. "Everybody get down!" Zach shouted. However people fled and panicked.

The gunmen shot over the heads of the crowd and focused on the platform where Drake was. "AAAHH!" Drake ran away unscathed.

"Oh man this is like major heavy!" Zoot screamed as he ran off.

"Remember don't shoot at Henderson!" One thug shouted. Suddenly the gun was shot out of his hand. "OW!"

"Hold it right there!" Zach shouted. "You're under arrest!"

"Why you…" The thug growled. "Get them!"

This was easier said than done. Two of the thugs found themselves trapped behind a psychic barrier and they nearly shot themselves with their own lasers. "My psychic field will make sure you don't harm anyone!" Niko shouted.

"YEOW!" Both trapped thugs were hit and knocked themselves out.

"Well almost anyone," She remarked.

Two more shot at Shane but he touched his badge and changed his form so it soaked up the lasers. He easily disarmed the thugs. Zach had already tackled the unarmed thug and captured him. "Aw you didn't leave any for me," Doc pouted.

"You snooze, you loose," Shane snorted as he reverted back to his normal form. "Niko check on those idiots you captured."

"They were lucky, the weapons were set on stun," Niko checked them over.

"You mean we were lucky," Doc corrected.

"Okay Slimeball, start talking!" Zach said to the thug he captured.

"Forget you Ranger," The thug spat. "I know my rights! I don't gotta say nothing!"

"Oh really?" Shane growled menacingly.

"Hey! Look! We don't even know who hired us!" The thug gulped, clearly realizing the danger he was in. "This guy was all cloaked in an alley and paid us a ton of credits just to attack Drake! Didn't want us to hurt 'em or nothin' just scare him! I swear! That's all we know! I swear!"

"Let's get these jokers into a detention cell," Zach said.

An hour later Drake was snapping at the Rangers at BETA. "What do you mean you can't arrest Henderson? He must have been behind the attack!"

"There's no conclusive proof that he was," Zach told him. "The thugs who shot up the place don't know who hired them."

"Don't know? Come on! Do I have to draw you a picture?" Drake yelled. "Better yet look at the tape of the attack!"

"All right," Doc turned it on a nearby vid screen to review the tape from the security camera.

"See that! Henderson wasn't even targeted!" Drake yelled. "He's behind these attacks!"

"That still doesn't prove anything," Niko said.

"There is one thing that I found," Doc said. "I was doing a background check and all I could find was that Henderson went to school at the Hearthorme Academy and University."

"So?" Zach asked.

"The thing is…" Doc frowned. "I happen to **know** someone who went to that school before he came to Miss Ambercrombie's Charm School and he told me he never even **heard** of Henderson."

"There's your smoking gun right there!" Drake snapped. "Now go do your duty and arrest him!" He stormed out.

"Something is still not right here," Zach thought aloud. "I want to review the tape of the attack again."

"No problem," Doc told him. He punched up the information on the computer.

"There! Look!" Shane pointed at the sight on the screen. "Stop there!"

"Drake ducked behind the podium before the shooting started," Niko realized. "That means he was expecting the attack!"

"Something really fishy is going on here," Zach frowned. "Both Henderson and Drake look awfully suspicious. Maybe we should check out both candidates a little more closely."

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It wasn't long before Zach and Shane were at Drake's election headquarters. They had split up so Doc and Niko were to check out Henderson. When they got there they saw an interesting sight. A large black limo with a driver they knew before. "Miller," Zach looked at Jackie Subtract's henchman. "He works for Subtract. What's he doing here?"

"I think we should take the less crowded avenue," Shane looked upwards at a fire escape.

Inside Drake's office. "I am a patient man Drake but I am slowly running out of patience," Jackie Subtract told Drake. "I need that license for my new casino and I need it now."

"I told you that you will get the license **after** I am elected," Drake snapped at Subtract. "Once the public gets distracted and forgets which will probably be in a day or two so relax."

"I held up my end of the bargain," Subtract told him. "With all the negative publicity Henderson's getting…"

"CAPTAIN WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" Doc's voice was heard screaming outside.

"What was that?" Subtract yelled. His two goons who came with him drew their weapons.

"Yeah so do we…" Zach grumbled as he shut down his communicator for a moment. The two Rangers had heard everything from the open window outside on the fire escape. Both Rangers decided to enter the room through the window with their weapons drawn. "Not that we didn't hear enough anyway."

"What the devil are you doing here?" Drake yelled.

"You asked us to go over the tape so we did," Shane said. "And we discovered that you ducked **before** the attack. Care to explain Senator?"

"And would you like to explain why you have Jackie Subtract, the man who is supposedly threatening you in your office?" Zach added.

"He…He's still threatening!" Drake shouted. "Arrest him! He's trying to kill me!"

"Shut up Drake!" Subtract pulled out his weapon. "They obviously heard every word we said! We have to kill them now before things get messy!"

Just then the office door was broken down. "DRAKE!" A very angry Henderson burst into the room. However part of his face had been torn away on his left side revealing a metallic shimmer on it.

Before anyone could react Henderson grabbed Drake and lifted him into the air with one hand. Behind him were two familiar ghostly figures being chased by Doc and Niko.

"Zachery! Henderson's an android and…" Doc shouted. Then he saw the scene. "Oh I think you've figured it out."

"Drake!" The face of the Queen of the Crown appeared in the ghostly figures. "You will pay for defying me!"

"Holy crap!" Subtract sputtered.

"Slaver Lords!" Zach shouted. "Then that means…"

"I knew there was something about that guy I didn't like," Shane growled. "Supertrooper Intuition strikes again."

"You! You ruined my chance to infiltrate the Board of Leaders!" The Queen shouted. "How did you find out about me? How?"

"I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW!" Drake screamed like a little girl. "I WAS JUST FRAMING YOU SO THE VOTERS WOULD GET SYMPATHY FOR ME! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE REALLY AN ANDROID SENT BY THE QUEEN OF THE CROWN! I WAS JUST GONNA TIE YOU IN WITH THE MOB! I SWEAR!"

"Are you saying that you purposely attacked yourself and your supporters in order to get votes?" Zach shouted.

"YES!" Drake screamed.

"Why didn't **I **think of that?" The Queen asked herself. "Oh who cares! Destroy him anyway!"

"I don't think so," Zach powered up his thunderbolt. With a blast he seriously wrecked the Henderson android.

"AAAAHH!" Drake screamed as Henderson's hand still held onto his coat jacket. "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!"

"Face it Queenie, you've lost," Doc smiled. He looked at Jackie Subtract and his goons. "And so have you."

"Boys I think we should let the lawyers handle this…" Subtract gulped as he put his weapon away. His men wisely did the same.

Niko managed to grab one of the psycho crystals away from the slaver lord letting the image crumble. "You lost two slaver lords for nothing Queen," Niko said.

"I'll leave you with this then," The Queen said tossing something on the floor. Before her image faded away as Zach grabbed the psycho crystal from it's holding, effectively destroying the Slaver Lord.

"IT'S A BOMB! BLOW IT UP!" Drake screamed as he tried to get away by climbing up on a curtain. "BLOW IT UP!"

"It's not a bomb," Doc scanned the object. "It's a data disk. I wonder what's on it?"

"We'll find out when we get back to headquarters," Zach said. He put his arm on Jackie Subtract. "I think we'd better have this talk down at BETA."

"Well if you don't mind this has been rather a tiring day…" Drake coughed as he straightened his tie.

"Not so fast Senator," Zach said. "Last I checked, conspiracy and endangering the public were crimes. Not to mention your connection with a known mob boss. You're going to have to come with us."

"And if you think I'm gonna take the fall for you, you're crazy!" Subtract snapped.

"You can't arrest me!" Drake said defiantly. "I'm a Senator! And since Henderson was a fraud I'm **still** senator!"

"You may be a senator, but you're also under arrest," Shane growled.

"Take your hands off me you…you Supertrooper!" Drake shouted as Shane cuffed him. "I knew we should have sent you to the Cryocrypt when we had the chance!"

"Maybe but **you're** the one who's gonna be put on ice," Shane pointed out. "And it gets worse."

"Worse?" Drake huffed.

"I'm also a registered voter," Shane smiled. "And I am definitely **not** voting for you! Come on!"

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"So let me get this straight," Q-Ball said as the Galaxy Rangers and their friends hung around the recreation room watching the election results. "Drake instigated the attacks on himself so that the public would sympathize against him and Henderson was actually a spy android sent in by the Queen of the Crown to try and topple Earth's government?"

"Yup," Shane nodded. "There never was a Henderson. The Queen just made him up. But boy she was not happy at Drake blaming those attacks on her candidate."

On the Tri-D was images of Drake being arrested by the Galaxy Rangers. "In addition to the charges it has now been revealed that Drake was also involved in racketeering, gambling, bribery and illegal alien animal fights," The news broadcaster spoke. "Not to mention this odd instance at a nightclub on Mars."

An image of Drake in a dress dancing with two men in leather chaps was shown. "Now how did the reporters manage to get **that** picture?" Zach gave Shane a look.

"Gee I have **no** idea," Shane whistled innocently.

"Apparently she found some blackmail material of her own to use but didn't get a chance to use it before her candidate started being investigated," Doc chuckled. "She knew she couldn't give the information out then because that would make Henderson look even more suspicious but boy she didn't mind leaving **this** behind!"

"Not to mention Jackie Subtract singing like a memory bird in order to cut down on his sentence," Shane grinned. "And adding on to Drake's!"

"But why would Drake insist on the Galaxy Rangers investigating the matter?" Q-Ball asked.

"Arrogance mostly," Doc shrugged. "Man thought he could influence his way back into the Board of Leaders."

"And no doubt he was then going to turn on Subtract later selling him out," Niko said. "It would be his word against Subtract's."

"Not realizing that Subtract had some recordings of his meetings with Drake," Zach said. "So much for honor among thieves."

"It's gonna be a long time before Drake gets out of prison," Shane grinned. "And that suits me just fine."

"I guess it's too much to hope that those psychocrystals had Eliza's signature is it?" Q-Ball asked.

"No, but we got in contact with Geezy who was thrilled we managed to rescue **two more** of his relatives," Zach sighed. "They're announcing the winner now."

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Let's have a big round of applause for our new Senator ZOOT MARTIN!"

"Dudes! Let us rock!" Zoot Martin, Earth's newest Senator started playing air guitar and dancing around.

"I gotta admit, this was a surprise to me," Doc blinked.

"Not as surprised as Kilbane when he finds out he's won the Miss America pageant," Shane snickered.

"It was the dolphin issue that made you choose him, am I right?" Doc gave Shane a look.

"I gotta admit, that hooked me," Shane shrugged as Martin danced around. "And he's not half bad with an air guitar."

"I hate politics," Doc groaned.


End file.
